In the Last 8 or So Months...

So much has happened. Shortly after playing through old computer games like Doom, Duke 3D, Secret of Monkey Island, Starcraft, and Gabriel Knight, I found myself getting into tabletop Role Playing Games (White Wolf's World of Darkness, along with many of its ilk). I guess it filled a need in me to be more creative while taking part in a collaborative story. It was pure bliss to play a game where you had the freedom to do anything from taking drugs to murdering a woman and sending her rib back to a group of mages in a Tony Roma's takeout box. Not that I enjoy doing these things all of the time, but they are extreme examples. I do tend to digress as well...

Later that year, I made the decision to move to Virginia, which was pretty hectic. I had to say goodbye to a lot of people I've known back in CA, which was pretty sad, but oh well, life goes on.

I dropped my Astro City while rolling it off of the moving truck, and it exploded like a Cave boss would...nah, I'm just kidding. Astro Cities are built like tanks. It only suffered a miniscule scratch on top of it--and it even struck the curb as it fell! And this was after sitting for days in 35-degree weather while moving boxes weighing over 80 pounds pressed against it during the shipment. I suppose that is not as bad as getting baked in an oven or dropped into a river, but I was pretty paranoid it wasn't going to survive its trip to the East Coast.

So after many more months of getting settled in, I may be working again. That means I'll have more of a fixed schedule to begin a routine. Before then, I was simply dabbling a bit in Thunder Force VI and Mountain of Faith. I fired up Ketsui a few days ago and realized how much I suck more at it, but I realized the more I played, it all comes back fast like muscle memory.

Soon, I will bring you down, EVAC Industry. I'm not finished with you yet.

Some Observations

From the Shmups Board, Twiddle wrote an interesting response to someone wondering why hardcore players would give up shooters for MMORPGs like World of Warcraft:

"From what I see it's the result of taking score playing too seriously in which the only end result is to play games where millions actively pretend the true skill matters: time spent without using your brain."

This then led to some more responses:

"At least with shmups its 30 mins of fun (if your good) and then you can take a break.
with WOW your lucky to sit around for 3 hours and actually accomplish anything." (--Lordstar)

"I think taking scoreplay too seriously is extremely dangerous for all except the most masochistic. Just look at Danmakugata." (--Zebra Airforce)

"Just like everything else in life, you should do everything in moderation. Being too overly ambitious can burn you out pretty quickly. I´ve read about people doing speedruns for their favourite games and hating them afterwards. As much as some people mock the "I don´t play for score, I play for fun"-attitude, when you just keep on playing to make numbers go up while not really enjoying it anymore, gaming becomes pointless.

"I pretty much killed Batrider for me because I played it too hard (while only reaching pretty meager scores), and now I can´t stand playing it for score anymore. Still a good game, but that´s a lesson for me " (--FrederikJurk)

This then lead to me thinking about a line from Malc's quote from the Shmups! homepage:

"They (shooters) can literally last for decades - I'm still trying to complete Flying Shark today."

One of the things that really drew me to shooters were that they were like these everlasting gobstoppers you could pick up and play for a half hour, each lasting for many, many years. Now that was value! I remember first playing Gunbird 2 in college back in 1999, and I am still itching to play it infinitely on MAME. My overall enjoyment of it may have lessened since then, but I still find myself revisiting it in hopes I can survive to the very end using 1 Credit. Same goes for R-Type, Gradius, Raiden, Ikaruga, U.N. Squadron, and pretty much every other manic/hori/vert shooter out there I personally enjoy.

Then I began to realize that I was burning myself out on these games by trying very hard to complete them in an alloted time or by focusing on improving my skills with them. Whatever happened to having fun? That always seems to take a backseat when you're playing competitively. By that point, the idea of proving to the world you are this good at a particular game becomes the only source of fun. Screw everything else about the game. It's all about how high I can rank up there in the scoreboards, and the respect I can garner from it. Anyway, while it's always nice to play for score, moderation's a manly virtue. And shooters are manly games.

I've been taking another clean break from playing shooters lately as you can tell from my lack of updates. Believe it or not, nowadays I've been wanting to play literally anything except shooters. Doom, Duke Nukem 3D, isometric RPGs (like Fallout 1&2 and Planescape Torment), point-and-click adventures (like Gabriel Knight and The Secret of Monkey Island), and Starcraft have been what I've been into lately. Yeah, most of those games are old, but they're great games that have stood the test of time. Oh well, it's all fun and games in the end.

How to tighten your Sanwa JLF

Just like women, after repeated use, your Sanwa stick tends to feel loose after a while. Although, unlike women, the stick will not tighten on its own when left unused. You have to make the necessary adjustments yourself.

It's quite simple, really. All you have to do is stretch the spring beneath the joystick's shaft.

To do this, you'll have to get beneath your joystick and remove this C-shaped washer that rests in between the minus screw and this black, plastic cap that holds the spring in place.

Simply take those small precision screwdrivers (3.0-3.5 mm works best) and wedge it in the center and slide the washer away by leveraging it out. (Note: You don't have to remove the entire joystick in order to do this. I just removed it in the picture so I could have an easier time photographing.)

See that C-shaped washer resting on the table beside the stick? That's what it should look like after it is removed. After that, this black, plastic cap comes out from underneath the stick's shaft. It may either pop out from the force of the spring beneath it or you may pull it out yourself:

As you can see, the spring is visible from the shaft, and you'll notice the shaft literally gets all flimsy and begins to fall apart. The spring, the C-shaped washer, and that black, plastic cap is what holds it all together. Take note that the black, plastic cap goes back into the shaft the same way it is pictured. Big butt first.

After that, take out the spring and stretch it out. The more you stretch it, the more tighter the stick will be, but try not to overdo it to the point where the spring is more than twice as long as it originally was. The spring is malleable and liable to bend in weird directions. Anyway though, even if you do mess up the spring, they can be replaced for as low as .95 cents at Lizard Lick.

On a closing note, this doesn't alleviate the complaints most people (shooter players, mostly) have about Sanwa JLFs having longer throws, but it does give it the illusion of having a shorter throw, while making your movements feel tighter and virgin crisp. Fighting game players typically do this and probably know of this trick already, but I wanted to include this tutorial since I haven't found any online as of yet. This will work for any Sanwa JLF stick, whether it is on a HRAP or a cab.

Special thanks to Last Elixir for showing me how to do this.

Ketsui: 898, DirtyMonk: 0

Ketsui : #15 (Day #3 of personal goal)

Current High Score: 91.947.608 - 1-5 - Panzer Jager

That picture cracks me up. Anyway, I'm wondering...if I complete the first loop, would that count as 1 victory or would that technically only count as half a win since there are two loops? What about completing the Tsuujou Loop vs. the Ura Loop? Either way, I still have a lot of work cut out for me.

Again it's been over a month since I last touched Ketsui, and I'm even more rustier than before. Yet, it all comes back quick. I began playing again a few days ago (finally!). I managed to scratch in a 72 million score yesterday (after like, what, 15 credits?), and then I was never able to touch it again after that. Must continue on...while not continuing.

I'm so itching to play ESPGaluda II since it's been so long, and I want to show it to my roommate, since Ketsui and DOJ's been the only games he's seen on my cab. So I'm determined to finish the first loop of Ketsui before I do so. Wish me luck...once again.

Never give up. And never stop believing.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place, and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth."

--Rocky Balboa

Growing up, I was never a big fan of Rocky, but I must say, that shit was inspiring.

I take hits from myself all of the time. Emotional hits, like I'm not good enough to do that, or that I shouldn't do this because it's a waste of my time, my talents, and whatnot. I don't think there has been anyone more relentlessly brutal to me than my own self. I'll read some smart asshole insulting this other person on the internet who I can relate a lot to, and some part of my mind takes what that asshole says and uses it to cripple me whenever I'm feeling most vulnerable.

To be honest, I've had thoughts about ending this blog and selling my games, while forever denouncing shooters as being this dead, archaic genre that nobody gives a shit about anymore. In some ways, a lot of this is true. People in general really don't give a shit about shooters, but that's what cynical people would want you to believe; and nobody likes depressing, cynical people. That's probably why they never get laid.

Despite the rather bleak outlook, there is always something there that keeps me coming back; something which makes me stubborn enough to stand so defiant before the face of harsh reality. It's that something which makes people think I'm a fool for pouring so much time and energy in. I shouldn't care. Whenever you do something you want to do, you know what that something is, and nobody can take that away from you. There is a reason why you keep coming back, and that reason alone should warrant all of the pain and the humility that comes along with it. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows, after all.

A friend of mine once said to me: "One of the things I hate the most is the word potential. I hate it when someone is told they are talented and smart enough to do anything, and then they end up squandering it by accomplishing nothing. Why? Because they get lazy, thinking they can always do more to live up to their potential, but they never put out the work required to get where they want to go. Fuck the little shit with potential, give me the underdog everybody is rooting against. The one person that nobody believes is going to make it. I want the dumb, ugly son of a bitch who is willing to work the shit out of him to get what he wants, even if it kills him."

He also added that I was "lazy as shit" and "my own worst enemy", but that's another story for another day.

Re-entering the Valley of Death

Ketsui : #14

Current High Score: 91.947.608 - 1-5 - Panzer Jager

After taking over a month off of Ketsui, I decided to sit my ass down before the Astro to plug away at it again. I forgot a lot about this game and could barely make it to the 3rd stage boss, but a lot of it came back quickly. Hopefully, what caused me to get burned out with Ketsui won't come back either, since that was what I was hoping to forget.

After hours of continual runs, I was able to score 60 million again, and then just yesterday, I managed to get back to 84 million. Before, while I was getting burned out with the game, I would get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I died in between the first and third stage, and then I would feel like giving up, cursing Ketsui in my head as though I were having a fight with an estranged girlfriend.

So nowadays, it's all about not giving a fuck. I'll bomb if I have to. If I die with a full bomb stock, oh well. Shit happens. I love hearing the lock-on sound, and I love it when I just know that after twenty or so runs, I can feel that I actually got better.

And then I look at the Shmups High Score Board for Ketsui and notice how MrMonkeyMan completed the first loop in...a few days, and I just get depressed. Why bother?

But then again, I love hearing that Lock-On sound.

Edit: I love hearing that Lock-On sound while realistic-looking tanks and EVAC Industry-owned enemy installations explode under my unstoppable helicopter equipped with fin-funnels of death.

DOJ-BL & Ketsui XBox360 Port (Update)

I didn't mean to come across as an Xbox360-hating bigot in the last post (even though I am, but that's mainly because the thought of spending $400 to import a system with the worry that it will break down without any warranty coverage is just fucking unbelievable for any shooting game player to go through). **EDIT: I just found out recently that this only applies to Europe. If you're in the US, then Microsoft will fix your imported 360!

I believe the best move Cave, 5PB, or whoever the hell is in charge can do is release those ports on XBox Live Arcade. How do I know? I don't. I just got it out of gleaming the boards for hours. It just sounds so much better that way in my opinion. And does my opinion matter? Maybe it does, maybe it does not. Most likely not.

All I know is, people need to stop hating and start playing instead. The best way is to make things more convenient and available to everyone in the most efficient manner. The community is so divided with the have-nots, the elites, and the collectors, that it is just depressing to watch. No wonder why I get this sinking feeling in my stomach that this genre is dying. When you're this divided, and it comes to the point where you have to spend thousands on a single game, how can you get more people interested?

Anyway, what the hell am I saying and what do I know. All I do is sit at home and play Ketsui, hoping there are more people out there who can share the same experience I can while helping one another improve and get better without all these seething emotions of jealousy and superiority running rampant across this hobby we like to do for fun.

All of the commotion on the boards are fun to read though.

**There are talks of getting a petition going around to make the port Region-free over at the cave-stg boards and Shmups. It is not set in stone yet, but if someone who can speak Japanese can organize it, then it'll happen a lot sooner. Check it out!